"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day"
-Frank Sinatra

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
- Henny Youngman

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
- George Best

Christina Beth Plater, have you actaully used the computer?!! (That was yelled in Mom's mean voice ( Read more... )

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
- George Best

"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar."
- Edward R. Murrow

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
- WC Fields

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
- Martin Mull

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
- WC Fields